6 ways to encourage unwilling students in studies

Unwilling and de-motivated students are always a cause of worry for parents, teachers and specially the student themselves. In this article, I want to share the real-life experience of motivating such students.

Since childhood, or at adolescent period, many children suddenly lose their interest in studies, and right from doing their homework to prepare for the examinations, the struggle starts at home, at school and between the student and their parents as well as their teachers. In most cases, this results into bad score, depression, arguments and in most extreme cases, suicides.

To avoid such situation, we need to take some precautionary measures and try to prevent such misfortunes in advance. Here's some observation how it definitely works.

I as an experienced teacher both in schools and in homes, have followed certain methodologies, that helped the so-called "bad students" score highest in the class and finally heading towards higher studies and careers.
In all these cases, what was the basic triumph was not making of a student, but the development of a personality who started respecting themselves in contrast to the condemnation and shame in the class, among relatives and even at home.
Few students were merely at primary level, some were in high schools and few in colleges. But the common feature in all of them is the self-hatred and defiance against the established rules and regulations. The most news that can upset anybody is, the grievances and grudges against parents who are unwilling to understand their ward's emotional needs. And there is the gap, which is needed to be filled up, to be rectified and modified.
And it is never too late as long as they are alive.

Here is what philosophy I followed while taking up the responsibility of a teacher.

1. We need to remember each student is unique in their nature

Whenever we are interacting with a student, whether it is our own child or a student, we need to remember from the very beginning, that we cannot generalise anybody, so it is better to take careful steps from the first few steps itself.

2. Ask to write a paragraph about their favourite things.

To establish a good communication and trust with the antagonistic student, we can start with asking them to write down whatever comes in their mind about their favourite things. Don't correct that page even if there are grammatical mistakes, use that writing as the basic informative page about the child.

3. We need to observe their learning habits

Each student has their own learning habits. some are good in remembering, some are not, some are visual learners whereas some are auditory learners and some are tactile and reading-writing learners.
Once we come to know the tendencies, we need to arrange for them the study and demonstrative methods that suits them best.

4. Observe their favourite subject

All students have their own set of choices regarding the choice of subjects, which helps them choose their career in the later stage. But in the primary stage, when all subjects need to be studied, we have to keep in mind that those subjects are having some elements which they don't feel comfortable with. For example, a poem needs to be memorised as it is, and those who are not expert memorisers will find it uninteresting. So, while teaching a poem, we need to categorically convert it into a sequence of events and then slowly step by step we need to make them memorise the sequences, then the way they are expressed and then the particular sequence of wordings, it may take time more than usual, but we have to deal it with patience.

5. Never condemn a student for their mistakes.

Students are learners, they aren't experts. It is very natural for them to commit mistakes. We should never condemn them for their mistakes. Instead we should take it very practically and create an atmosphere of sports, as though it is a fun competition whether with other students or with his earlier records, that he commits lesser number of mistakes. This will develop a healthy competitive attitude and encourage them to target an ambition or goal at a small scale.

6. Explain the necessity of study in life, the philosophy behind learning.

Most of the students are studying today as a rat race, without knowing why they are studying. Those who enjoy the rat race, are racing, but those who are a bit more logical just don't understand why they need to study at all.
To them the entire matter of study seems to be meaningless, unless we explain them the whole story of mankind which has differentiated itself from other animals in search of a comfortable life. So, they need to understand, unless they want all those discomfort coming back to their lives, they need to remain connected in the society and for that they need to do the needful.

Finally, each student has to be given the realisation that he is studying for his own benefits and not to satisfy others. It is not because of parents, teachers and the society he is learning, but he is learning for themselves in order to have a good relationship with everyone which will give them a sense of self-worth and self-satisfaction.

Philosophy: the currently ignored subject in India

Philosophy: the currently ignored subject in India

In India right now we don't find any encouragement for the subject philosophy. Yeah it is there as a subject in the field of higher studies but not included in the primary syllabus till the high school level.  The departments of the universities are having a vacant leisurely look, the activity part is almost nil. People in the educational profession itself have already considered the subject obscure. With an image of insignificance which has got nothing to do with the modern flow of life, philosophy as a subject is waving its hand to say goodbye from the mainstream courses of education in India.

The subjects taught right from the beginning abruptly start from nowhere, there is no room for general curiosity, quest, reasoning and logic in the system that is prevalent in the current scenario of education, perceived in India. So a fresh mind of a child which we love to call a "tabula rasa" (empty slate) in philosophy is suddenly thrown into a world of unintelligible codes divided under the still unknown categories of science, humanities and commerce. Why on earth one has to study these three things and why not others, the little minds are never given any explanation. They are strictly told not to question, not to talk, not to defy and not to wonder. And all these natural activities of a child's mind is shut up and thrown away with that obscure subject, which was named at times as "philosophy" which means "the way of life".

I know grudges are too many in the list for the government of India to be sorted out. And positive solutions are very few. Even I was doing the same in the above lines, but now I change my mind. Can we rethink and reintroduce philosophy at the grass root level of education? Can we allow our kids to question us, question the entire system, prove them wrong, defy us and go ahead with a fresh line of thought? I am sure an array of problems can be solved if we do this.

In recent days philosophy has marched ahead with the study of consciousness and cognitive science. so, there is huge scope of carrier brighter and happier than many hackneyed jobs we are looking for. It doesn't only pay up bills, it regenerates your own self which is going to be there even if you are not drawing pension.

Today, our world of education has incorporated several subjects, which lead to a profession, and many of them are directly professional courses, which trains the students to develop a certain skill. But we are forgetting one fact that in every stream of education, the basic skill that is required is the thinking capability and better understanding of the acquired knowledge. A particular subject teaches a particular aspect of life, but the overall contribution of that subject in our life is taught by Philosophy. Philosophy makes us think, it reassures us, that the passing thoughts we experience everyday are also worth it. There are many aspects of life, which we ignore, and that makes us suffer the consequences at many points of time. Philosophy teaches us, the way we should think, the thought procedure that will reach a logical conclusion. Once we know the proper ways to think, our life get an inner support within ourselves and we don't feel that helpless any more. We would have the answers to those questions which left us restless in many sleepless nights.

Before we start studying a subject we all need to know, why that subject is existing at all, and what contribution it has and what are its implications. That will never be understood, unless, we know the Philosophy behind it. And once we know it, each of us can find new ways and means to contribute something new to that subject. Nevertheless, we will enjoy studying the subject with its essence.

So, its time that the education system of India realizes the worth of Philosophy as a subject and start introducing it at the very basic level. At the elementary level, the mind of each learner is in its most receptive state, and that is the time, when we need to teach him the basic knowledge of life, encourage him to question the world, answer their relentless questions and quench their thirst for knowledge. And all these can be done only through Philosophy, the currently ignored subject.

Why Indian Writers Are Not Paid Enough

Why Indian Writers Are Not Paid Enough

“Ask and thou shall get.” Is it true? The possible answer may be, “yes, if one knows the art of asking”. On the other side of the coin, to get what one asks for, one has to be deserving enough. This applies to the field of Freelance Writing as well. In India, Freelance Writing hasn't picked up that stature which alone can make a comfortable living. The reason is obvious,  in India, freelance writers are treated more like a wedge earner than an independent contributor in the intelligentsia.

In comparison to the Western countries, where Freelance writers are equally established as any other white collar job holders, Indian freelance writers have to struggle through a bitter journey, and success come to a very few, which isn't worth counting. If we delve deep inside, there may be some reasons which pop up on the surface level and some lurking behind the apparent scene.

Apparently, it has been found that Freelance Writers in India share a few common thoughts which might be one of the reasons behind the not so bright scenario:

1.       It is better to get less than nothing at all.

It has been a very common thought process which has been observed within most Indian Freelance Writers (leaving successful exceptional cases aside) that they think they would lose the chance of signing up an assignment, if they quote higher price. It is their low quote which will bring them opportunities. If they don't agree, they would return empty handed.
But that is the first wrong way of thinking. And once we step on this wrong stone, it will sweep us down the wrong path and a return journey will take away indefinite period of time with an unsure result. Once we set our value for less than we actually deserve, our customers take us for granted and we enter a low grade market by degrading our self-worth. On the contrary if we don’t get an assignment that pays us well, it will save us time and energy to upgrade ourselves and look for better opportunities.

2.      I can’t afford to say no.

In most of the cases, our economic condition forces us to accept an assignment at low pay rather than rejecting it. In reality, this way an author kills his scope to grow and finally keeps himself confined in the struggling state with little chance to improve his standard of living. On the other hand, refusing to an offer which does not feel lucrative has a manifold benefit.

i.                     The writer will save time and energy from working on a non-profit assignment and save himself from cascading losses. 

ii.                   It will be a good chance to establish one's rights and correct value.

iii.                  The one who is looking for exploiting intellectual property will not be encouraged.

iv.                 On the bargain, the writer can have a chance to win by getting his desired pay cheque.

v.                   It will be a satisfying deal for the author if he says “no” to the offered rate, as he isn’t turning down the assignment by doing so, but just establishing the fact that he can’t afford to say “yes” on the same.

But why do Indian writers have to think on these lines at all? There may be countless reasons, starting from the economic condition of our country, the social scenario, literacy rate, readership count and so on. These are known to all, but few things which I found worth mentioning here, are:

Reputation in the International Market:

In the international market, Indian labour is known for its low cost. We are sincerely following the grade of a “third world country” and are happy to sell ourselves that way. That is there in the attitude of every Indian and we freelance writers are no exception.

Lack of exposure:
Writing is only a way of expression. Expression is the outcome of experiences. Experience evolves from exposure. We Indians have less opportunities to get exposed in the open world. When we compare our write-ups with those of Western Countries, what falls short in our court, is ample exposure and dynamic experiences. A common writer in India is associated with a small group of friends with a "jhola" on his shoulders, (some may carry a camera in it by chance), hanging out in a few known places and half known cafeterias. He has very less chances to have a world tour, explore the world and gain experience. And this lack of exposure gets caught up in his writing.

Language:

If we are talking about writing in English, as a second language, the expressions come out as a translation rather than an original writing. It may happen because we think in our vernacular language first and translate them before putting down on paper.

Credibility issues:

If we search the internet, there are many pages which contain lengthy list of grievances against Indian writers for not following the terms and conditions of an agreement. Many of them have played foul with the punctuality, originality, authenticity and many other criteria that count behind building up a credible standing in the market. Unfortunately because of some unethical crap, the credibility has crushed down and the basic trust on Indians both in the domestic and International markets is under a doubtful condition.

Besides these, there may be even more vital issues which are causing this demoralizing circumstance for the Indian Freelance Writers, but the solution to the problem will come out only when we change our attitude towards ourselves and remember that now we are citizens of a Free India, and we are Free to choose our own value and contribute in the intellectual growth of mankind across the world. To bring that freedom in our profession, we have to have a freedom of thought.

My Author Story: Why I Thought, I Should Write

Author has an identity, which has got something or other to do with the word “Authority”. That is being an able person to take up a responsibility of something. And that was the idea that suddenly dawned upon my mind, and I found that being an author could be the answer to many of my own questions and lead me towards a better understanding of life.

The Prelude:

When there was no picture in my mind that this could be one of the signals that I should write, I was writing. I was writing at the back of my school exercise books with pencil, and use to rub it off, before I had to submit it to my teacher, or show it to my mother. Then there came those attractive diaries with 365 options to write in each, and those were the days, when so many things crossed the mind of a teenager.

There were plenty of things which I wanted to tell, but to whom? Was it to my friends, my family? Never. I wanted to tell those things to myself. There were no target audience, there were no face for whom I was writing. It was my own mirror, it was my own mind. I had discourse with myself, I had many things to share with my conscious mind, that was roaming like a shadow in my unconscious one.

The Interlude:

Gradually I grew up, I came into terms with myself, that there is no point in keeping things to myself and grudging about life. To live happily with my own being, I have to come out from my own shell of privacy, and dare to share my foolish ideas with people around to evaluate how much foolish I was being. I have to involve my fellow beings into my world of thought, and there is nothing to feel shy about. The world is a large canvas, empty for everyone to scratch and paint. We all have the authority to be an author and paint our mind with words and expressions which is anyway going to be there in our daily life.

I started answering the questions, by different people, may be only those which had a common thread in my mind. People started acknowledging my answers to be useful, and I was elated to know that. I kept it up, and it became like an addiction. This gave birth to another idea, that why don’t I have a detailed way to say, what I wanted to? Why don’t I point out the actual point, which generally gets hidden behind the apparent points? So, I started my own blog, and started writing whatever comes to my mind.

The Postlude:

I am not an authorized author yet, but I can’t stop writing and leave the hope of being one. I am ready to keep my habit of writing as a hobby, even if it doesn’t help me much in filling up my wallet.

What I feel that an author must be feeling, is contributing in this society few methodologies, which appeared to him or her as the best solutions to some age-old problems, or a viewpoint that could envision a large panorama as well as a microscopic angle to any issue that can cross human mind or overwhelm.

 

 

 

 

Free India: Dream and Reality

Free India: Dream and Reality

1947, India got her name, her Independence from a power that ruled the world, that influenced the entire human civilization and under whom several countries were mere servants.

India too had to toil for 250 years under the British thumb rule, countless people lost their lives, lost their identities and a new concept was born from this fire of anguish and sacrifice, and that was India, a dream concept with a dream constitution, incorporating the best of the best rules of the world's best countries.

2013, we are habitual citizens of India, a free country, free from rules, free from ethics, free from courtesy and free from dreams and motivation. Today we are free to break the laws, free to encourage corruption, free to commit heinous crime and free to put down our own country in the eyes of the international citizens.

That is not the end, we gave freedom to our neighbouring country to infringe our borders, whenever they want, we gave them freedom to kill our countrymen whenever they "feel like", we have given them freedom to snatch away our freedom to live free from fear, to visit places that belongs to our own country boundaries and freedom to pursue our own philosophy.

Yes, India is free today, indeed. But those who brought it, had a different view of freedom, and the reality of India is having a different concept of freedom at present..

What the Freedom fighters must have dreamt of can still be achieved, still be fulfilled and not yet has become a bygone.
We can raise up, we can rise up, wake up and stir up with a little bit more vigour, energy, effort and willpower.
Real Freedom could be achieved, if all of us start thinking out of the box, change the stereotype pattern and cycles that we have fallen into. We can change, modify and upgrade our constitution, which has kept all the options open for corruption, delaying, defying law itself and give undue power to those who do not deserve. We can change the entire political scenario, the administrative policies and social genre.
We can start stopping people around us from committing mistakes and crime, indulge in corruption, and while checking and criticizing others, can stop for a while in front off the mirror, to check ourselves for the same things.
Instead of celebrating the Independence Day, with the same age old processions, songs, movies and lectures, we can celebrate it with a new jerk of thought, that Democracy doesn't mean only voting for the already elected wrong people, but erecting a new concept, where there can be all facilities without inflicting pain on others. A Free India can breathe freely, only when it is free from old thoughts and replaced by new ones, because Freedom doesn't occur in dates, it occurs in minds and thoughts. A Freedom of India has to be sought in her Freedom of Thought.

Beggars Can be Choosers

Beggars Can be Choosers

Beggars on the street of any city in India have become an intolerable menace. But their growth in number, kind and ways show, how it has become almost like a full-fledged industry. We all know about organized begging, we know how they are been trapped, tortured, amputated and wasted, but still we encourage them by showing sudden bursts of sympathy and contribute directly in ruining their lives, who could have otherwise led a far better life instead. Because of our unthoughtful behaviour, people are choosing such a suicidal livelihood and the most ironical part of it is that, we are’ paying’ for it to happen.  Have we ever realized that few people, who don’t have an iota of sympathy in their mind, are making money only by exploiting public sympathy? Why should anyone waste their money for encouraging such heinous criminal racket?  If we don’t have time, money or scope to donate for a good cause, let us keep our money to ourselves and add up to our bank balance, than draining it to criminal hands. We need to ponder on the fact that, when we have the mind of helping a poor hand, when we feel for them at least once in a while, we can make amends; this small kindness can really change lives.

We can follow few simple steps to reduce the hyper activities of the begging rackets.

1.       Don’t give the beggars cash; give food, clothes or toys instead.

If we are moved by the beggar’s cry and plead, when we are in our vehicle waiting for a signal, we can give them a piece of food item, a clothing material or a toy. If we stop the circulation of money or resale items to the hands of beggars, it will directly benefit the beggar on site and not the wealthy, filthy criminal racket owner behind the screen.

2.       Whenever you see a child beggar, take a snap from your mobile.

All of us carry a mobile whenever we are outdoors. Whenever we come across a child beggar, even carried or accompanied by an elder, we can take a snap of them and post them in any of the social media sites, if not in a newspaper. Still better will be, if we can report it to the police station over ruling the fact that they won’t work. Sometimes they do, if they find, things are getting too public.

3.       Talk to them and take out information:

Whenever we come across a beggar pestering us to give him money, ask few questions like where is he from, whether he is in touch with his parents. Ask him and take a note whether he can tell his address or any contact person or their number.

4.       Inform the police:

If you want to save a life and have the satisfaction of it, take the trouble and initiative of informing the police, whatever information you could collect from those ill-fated children. We all know that in most cases Police disappoints us and to be more openly true, they put us into trouble. But then if we keep quiet and only watch things rushing towards the negative direction, one day we may have to pay an unbearable price for it.

A secured nation doesn’t happen one fine morning. it has to be built up day by day with all the hands put together. Corruption, crime and man-made-disasters can be reversed, if we can take the courage of resisting them instead of being more courageous to suffer their consequences. We need to remind ourselves, that those who are suffering today have also thought that “nothing will happen to them.”

Honesty, is it really appreciated?

Honestly speaking, honesty is considered as a virtue, but how is an honest man appreciated in our society? Is he really honoured?

We teach our children to be honest. We ourselves try our best to be honest. But if we look around the world and people who are always on the top of awards, rewards and achievements, do we find a category, where honesty was the criteria? Rather not. If people retain their honesty at each and every level, in real life situations, they wouldn't be surviving with ease.

We have seen this, experienced this, when we were children, when we grew up and through various stages of our lives. We shared our truth with our parents, they hardly believed. We revealed our fear to our friends, they took advantage of us. We admitted our mistakes to our teachers, but they didn't honour us back. We expressed our passion for our first crush, they crushed us down.

We have seen honest people around, unattended, unappreciated and neglected. Moreover, they are ridiculed, harped on and thrashed.

But look at those people, who could paint their faces with mysterious colours, look at those people who could wear a plastic smile on their face throughout their life. Nobody thrashes them for not revealing their actual mental state. Our country is ruled by those who are expert in fooling people, law and ethics. Moreover, there is an open option of career to be dishonest, and you can appoint them paying high prices to tell lies for you in a perfect order. Law has given them the permission to be dishonest and save dishonesty.

Yes, there are punishment for crime. But there isn't any social pressure on a person, if he is dishonest. But the same social pressure will fall unbearably on those who believe in honesty. There isn't any real life example where there is an honest man who hasn't suffered the bitterness of life. But people with dishonesty are at comfort. They are all fine and cool.

So, how do one teach his child to be honest again? How do we see our dear ones suffering the worst for just being honest? So, isn't it a fallacy that Virtue punishes you, while vice Rewards?

I know, the answer will be a very big "NO" and everybody will oppose to this ideology, but that won't be an honest answer again. 

Five ways to recognise a True Friend

Five ways to recognise a True Friend

Here is the upcoming Friendship Day, and we are all busy celebrating this wonderful occasion worldwide. Many of us are planning to have a nice and exciting hangout, many are busy choosing friendship cards and gifts, some are looking this as a new opportunity to make new friends and enhance their friend circle.
But in this occasion, we can also do something a little bit more meaningful, which will ease our life a bit and add up some more spice to this auspicious day. Let's ponder a bit, about what this friendship means in its real sense of the term. spending a little time on this issue can change our mind, can change our perspectives and finally change our lives for good.
What do we think, when we call this Day as Friendship Day? Does it mean only a day with some happy moments and eventful day out? does it only mean some giggles with buddies, gathering in coffee shops, buying gifts and sending cards? Does it have any more significance which can matter truly in our lives?
Yes, it means a lot more than fun and frolics.
Friendship is the basis of all relationships. be it individual to individual or among groups of people as small as a friend circle and as big as international relationships. Friendship can be glimpsed at a corner of a classroom, in a sit out, in a conference room and even in battle fields.
But coming down to individual thoughts, we can recognise a true friend in every relationship, if we get to see these few traits and components:

1. A true friend will never give excuse.
If two people are real friends, they will never give lame excuses for anything that didn't go well. They may forget important days, each other's birthdays, some small commitments, but they will tell the truth that they forgot about it.

2.A true friend can never insult each other.
There is no guarantee that true friends will always have sweet talks. They can fight like hell, but fighting and insulting are two different things. A true friend can fight but never insult his friend. He may oppose to some decisions, he may have difference of opinions, but he can never give a feeling that his friend is worthless.

3. A true friend will criticise on your face but never do back biting.
If two friends are truly friends and are not happy with each other over something they will criticize and oppose each other on the face but they can never do back biting in the absence of each other. They will point out the weaknesses being face to face, but will never ever let others know about it.

4. A true friend  cannot be jealous.
It is a very common phenomenon, that whom we know or call as friends give unexpectedly negative reactions to our story of success. In that case it is a clear indication, that the person concerned is not our true friend. A true friend will have a spontaneous reaction of happiness, when they come to know about our success or good news.

5. A true friend will not make you feel guilty.
A true friend will never unnecessarily confuse you or make you feel guilty for no good reason. Even if we commit some mistakes, they can point out, or make us aware of it, but they can never keep mentioning the weaknesses we have so that we feel embarrassed or guilty.

Apart from these friendliness is something which involves a warm heart and real affection, it is something to be felt through the heart, and through the joy we feel at their presence. In all types of relationship, what we actually look for is friendship. A father becomes the best, when he can become the best friend of his child, same with the mother, a teacher earns all the popularity through his or her friendly way of teaching and behaving with students. A colleague or a boss, a sibling or a cousin, among all of them we look for a friend.
Same with the relation between the nations and their people. In the name of spirituality, religion, ethics , laws and philosophy, people are killing each other, but the irony is, all their apostles of religion, spirituality, philosophy, law and order have asked them only to be friendly with each other and that is the ultimate human philosophy and religion.
If we are friendly, we create our Paradise, if we can't, we ourselves in our self-made Hell.
 

Five ways to overcome exam fear

Five ways to overcome exam fear

We all know how the fear of the word "exam" reverberates our heart. The entire family suffers from its seriousness and a span of three to nine months of each year passes with the dreadful feeling and with heights of anxiety.
Whether the student is a good performer, a moderate one or a poor, the fear factor doesn't change in its character. A poor student is afraid of his failure, a moderate student is torn between his ambition of scoring higher and the tension of securing his last rank. at thee same time a good performer will be on his toes to defeat his nearest competitor and list his name on the top of the names of qualified candidates.
News of committing suicide, from this exam phobia is not new to us. and in India the statistics rate is alarming.
To face this inevitable situation, all of us need to be united and elevate ourselves as well as assure our next generation not to fall prey in such traps.

1. First make a shortlist of important topics

In each subject there has to be gradients of important, most important and less important topics. First the most important ones should be shortlisted and studies, that will fetch the passing mark including a good impression on the reviewer of the paper. That particular topics should be studied with detailed information, without leaving out any valuable information. Because, even if one question fetches high marks, automatically, it will catch the reviewers attention, and will make a good impression on him, that will have a good effect on his markings of the other answers as well. at the same time, if one question could be answered well,  from the student's point of view, he will gain some confidence to study ahead.

2. Shed out the ambition factor

If ambition catches ones mind and preoccupy his thoughts with the expectation of rewards before the performance or even result, that will affect reversely on his study and his mind too. So, while studying, the ambition factor has to be side lined and forgotten. The focus should only be on gathering correct information and mastering on the subject and acquiring the skill to represent them properly.

3. I may not know all, but surely few.

Sometimes at exam hall, the question paper appears to be unexpectedly tough and unusual. That is the testing time for all. Many get a panic attack and even forget to reproduce what he knows well.
So, once such a paper arrives, one should not think, he should have been able to answer all of them but is unable to answer even one. He should calm down and think, among all of them, which of the questions can be partly answered, if not fully. He should think, I may not know all, but surely I know few of them. Once his pen starts writing, he will get the confidence of writing more than he expected.

4. Forget about the result in the hall.

Every student needs to forget about the result while sitting inside the exam hall. Otherwise the thought will unnecessarily burden the mind with too much pressure of performance. Once the mind is free from such obligations, it can do wonders.

5. Finally an exam is not the life itself

Everyone should remember including the parents that exams are not everything in life. If one exam is not written well, that doesn't mean, that life of that person has to come to an end. If we fail to realise that in the micro point of view, we will realise that in macro point of view, that we have failed the exam of life itself.

As a whole, examination of a particular subject stream is to evaluate a person's skill on that particular subject, and each individual has their own tendencies, of either doing well, good, better or best. Few may be bad, worse and worst in that subject, but they must be having the knack of shining in some other fields, which is awaiting to be explored.

Friendship and Expectations

"Friendship"- yes, that is the term we use in our everyday conversation, in our daily routine and want in our life at every moment. We make friends, we celebrate, we argue, share and contest each other. Still we remain friends, and still we want more in our list. All of us wait on our Birthdays when and who calls us up and congratulate us. We dream to become somebody great and see the known faces happy, appreciating and jealous reading our names in headlines.

Our Friends are near to us, they are sometimes far from us and we think of them when we are happy, keep their numbers update to share the achievements, without which everything seems incomplete.

But Friendship as a term covers a huge phenomena and it is not merely a term given to a particular relationship. It is not one of the names in the listing of relationships, that has a definite status. It goes far ahead, beyond individual interactions, gathering, contact lists and socialising.

We all are looking for friendship, from every corner of our life. We expect friendliness from our parents, spouses, relatives, colleagues, neighbours, children and who so ever we meet and interact with. and in that friendliness, we expect them to understand us, our point of view, our philosophy of life, our reactions to different situation, and finally the things we do with those respective people. Our heart breaks if they do not accept us, the way we are, if they take things differently from the way we wanted them to. And all our efforts in life finally aims to fulfil this expectation that we will be able to stand erect in the eyes of our fellow beings, and earn a friendly attitude.

The eternal search for happiness takes a fresh breath of air and suddenly finds its goal, when somebody in some sphere of our life gives us a hearty smile and nods to any of our actions, all of us feel that moment to be the one for which we are living for, our mind gets refreshed, we feel energised and motivated to walk a mile more towards our goal.

But why is this moment so rare? Why do we always need to hanker after such a moment from everybody and why do we come back disappointed in most of the times? People lose interest in life, they end up killing themselves, getting into self-humiliating actions, ruin themselves in the hands of addiction and finally the world becomes a place of animosity filled with anger, hatred and revengeful acts. We are terrorised by the neighbouring countries, by the law, by the police, by the government, by our bosses, colleagues and finally our family members too.
All these show lack of friendly attitude, we all have developed stacks and loads of unfriendly attitude with little understanding and tolerance to others. It is all ME and MINE and never US and OURS.

The reason probably is, we can't see how we look when we don't smile at people. There is no attempt from our side to understand what the other person is feeling. We have heaps of expectation from others that they behave this way and that way, but from our side we try very little to act according to other's expectations. Okay for the time being, if we take it this way, that "people behave the way they want to and they can never be the other person to make someone happy", then doesn't it apply the same for the person in front of us? The other person is also having the right to think in the same manner, so there we can't accept and start a fight.

So, here is where the shoe is pinching. We expect things from others and also expect that they don't expect the same from us. But just for the sake of imagining a logical possibility, can't we wait  a minute before judging the other person why must he be doing that thing? Can't we provide any scope to each other with an open mind to explain their point of view? Isn't that we are expecting everyday from everybody? Isn't that the actual definition of Friendship? But as we know, any relation is a communication and has to have a two way traffic. We cannot put obstacles on one way and expect our vehicle to move fast and smooth.

When we talk about spirituality, religion, ethics and philosophy, what I guess is, we are all tying to define that we need friendship, and living a way where others can come and play in our Garden. That is the best possible way to be Religious, Spiritual, Ethical and Philosophical. Remember, the story of the Selfish Giant? That is our own story, we sometimes become the giant, and we only become the little boy. When we are the "little boy", we can convert big selfish giants into selfless angels but when we ourselves become selfish, we smash the flowers of Friendship in our lives which could make a Paradise around us to live in , and continue to struggle in our self-created HELL.